dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just puked most of my soul out..
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