dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
