why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize