omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize