He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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