Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
