im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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