You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
