Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
