the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
