We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
