why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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