Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
