We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
