i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
