Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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