Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize