Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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