hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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