So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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