did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
