she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
