Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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