There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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