So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
