Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
