East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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