Redeem this text for a blowjob
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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