i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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