fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize