fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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