All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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