i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
