chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
