Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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