well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize