i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
