Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
