Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
