I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
