ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
