he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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