wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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