I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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