So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
