Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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