Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish i was in the wii world.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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