Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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