The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
