You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
