barbara walters just said penis...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so let's talk penis.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
