i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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