Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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