It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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