There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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