Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
