thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
