sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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