I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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