I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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