does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
