Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
