i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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