I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize