She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
not ubering you a puppy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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